It is often said: never take your partner for granted. This, of course, is an ideal situation and does not translate very well to reality. Let’s not kid ourselves; we do take our partner for granted once we get comfortable in the relationship. However, in all of this, we forget to be patient with our partner and that is what needs to be reflected upon.
We all practice various forms of patience, whether when stuck in traffic or standing in an immigration queue, or discussing a salary raise, or waiting for an Amazon Prime delivery which also takes a day to arrive. But, when we are in a relationship, we conveniently overlook this virtue and seek ‘instant resolution’.
In this hyper-connected world of messaging, we are patient to hear back if we send a note to friends, family or work colleagues but when it comes to our partners, we expect an instant response. I am of the opinion that if the query or discussion is important, then make a call as opposed to staring at the chat box waiting for a reply.
Keep in mind that an instant resolution, is very often, a reactive resolution. So when in an argument or disagreement, give time to cool off and then take time out to talk. The results of being patient will surprise you and may even work in your favour. This is required more so in today’s day and age where we have access to instant messaging – type your message, but STOP to think if you would be okay if you do not send it, or better still, would you have liked to be the receiver of this message?
So how can you overcome impatience in your relationships? For one, refrain from reacting immediately when you feel the other person is being unreasonable. Stay calm and approach the subject later. It’s not easy, but impatience can spoil things further. Talk to yourself on being patient and invest in being a more patient person, even outside the relationship. Spend a minimum of 45 minutes daily in cultivating patience without involving any technology: go for a walk, run, read or pick a hobby. And finally remember, if you value your relationship, it’s worth the effort to strengthen it by turning yourself into a more patient person.