Mental Health//

Stop Second Guessing Yourself

Why trusting your judgement is the key to good mental health.

Photo by Alysha Rosly/ Unsplash
Photo by Alysha Rosly/ Unsplash

Has it ever happened to you where you thought that, maybe if I had taken the advice of my friend, I would have landed a better job or if I take this business decision, it may not yield good results in the future? I’m sure most of us look back to the decisions we have taken and feel that, maybe if we had done something else, the situation would have been better. Not just that, we also keep worrying about the repercussions of the decisions we are about to take. 

In the conflict between, ‘I wish I had…’ and ‘What will happen if…?’ which increases the level of uncertainty, after a certain point in time we are not sure whether what we did or what we are about to do is right. This second guessing, regrets of the past, lack of faith in what we are about to do clearly shows that ‘maybe’ we don’t trust ourselves!

I have always believed that trusting yourself and having faith in what you do, makes you a stronger person and helps you deal with any challenge head on. I briefly mentioned about it in my previous article ‘Have You Listened to Yourself Lately?’ too, where I talked about how trusting your inner voice can help you be successful in whatever you do. However, feeling otherwise, can only lead to stress which in turn affects your mental health. 

Learning to trust yourself may sound simple, however, may not be easy to implement when we critique ourselves harshly. Here’s how I learnt being kind to myself, which has certainly helped me be stronger mentally and I hope it works for you too. 

Learn to let go

I have never had any regrets in whatever I have done so far in my life. May it be failing in a few subjects during my graduation, switching my career from being a scientist to an insurer or any business decision I have taken so far, even if it didn’t lead to the outcome I expected. Clinging to what you could have done otherwise, only leads to stress and I feel that if you can’t undo what’s already done, there’s no point thinking about it. I also feel that whatever I did then, I must have done it because then it felt right, otherwise why will I take that particular step? 

This trust in whatever you are doing, letting go of what’s already done and moving on from there, helps you stay in the present and do what best can be done at that point in time. 

Learn to believe in yourself, forgive, forget and keep on doing the good work, everything else will fall in place. 

Don’t overthink

Although I have not been super spontaneous in terms of decision making, I believe in doing my background research and act based on my judgement of what I feel is right. I trust my instincts, my people at work who are helping me and take the plunge. I remember that famous adage: ‘Think twice before you act’. That does hold true. However, it doesn’t mean that you overthink so much that towards the end you are confused about what’s right and what’s not. Overthinking only increases the burden on your brain, it not just utilises too much mind space, but also tires it to the point where you are left clueless. Doing so, only makes decision making difficult. Start with the foundation of trusting yourself in what you are doing and whatever the repercussions are, be ready to face them, good or bad. 

Be passionate about what you do

If you really love and enjoy what you are doing, you automatically start trusting yourself with it. I have seen that in both my daughters, one is a doctor who even in such testing times on duty is enjoying her work and the other who is an engineer, strives to be a perfectionist in whatever task at hand. 

I have observed that irrespective of the challenges they must facing, they are still content and happy. It makes me feel that if you are passionate about something, nothing can get in your way. There is no self-doubt, instead, you are more confident as you are whole-heartedly dedicated towards it. 

There are various external factors which may not be in our control and may affect us mentally. However, one thing that is certainly under our control and which can reduce the impact of these external factors is trusting ourselves. Learn to believe in yourself, forgive, forget and keep on doing the good work, everything else will fall in place. 

Focus on the now and strive for happiness, rather than brooding over the past and worrying about the future. Never lose faith in yourself, doing so will simplify complicated situations in your life and make you a stronger and a more sorted person mentally. You spend the most time with yourself, learn to trust yourself and you will be a happy person!

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