New Normal//

Finding Love During Lockdown

Yes, it is possible. For there is life beyond a contagion.

Photo by Edward Jenner/ Pexels
Photo by Edward Jenner/ Pexels

We are in 2020, locked inside our homes, what are you doing? 

Finding love? Let’s take you on a journey.

Before COVID 19, we were going about our normal lives; meeting a date in the bar and ending it in the bedroom. We found dates through mutual friends and online dating platforms, right? Back then, we associated online dating with casual relationships but is everyone seeking a casual relationship?

Now that physical proximity is not an option, is casual dating still a thing?

The pandemic has given us ample time to think about our goals, career and relationship expectations. It delayed physical meeting and made casual relationships non-existential but the process for those seeking a committed relationship has continued as before. 

You are at home and have a lot of free time. You think it is time to find love but are you seeking love because you want to or are you doing it because there is a lot of time to spare? Think.

If you are looking for love, then what does this mean?

Casual out, committed in!

Casual dating indicates no exclusivity, no commitment and most importantly, ghosting. People meet without investing in any form of attachment and are easily replaceable. 

But in the current scenario, you cannot just meet each other physically. You will have to find someone online, make sure your interests and expectations match and then connect. But would you spend so much time looking for a partner for a casual relationship?

Before COVID-19 there was not enough ‘me time’ in between other social distractions as compared to now. So, now is the time to reflect on your relationship expectations—see if you want to be in a companionship, live-in relationship, are ready to get married or are unsure about what to do.

It is a great time for single urban Indians who earlier did not have time amidst their packed schedules to look for love.

So, it can be said that the lockdown worked in favour of those seeking a committed relationship.

But, where do you find love during a lockdown?

The current situation has led to a surge in sign-ups on online matchmaking platforms. But then there is always the question of the authenticity of profiles for online dating.

With an increase in the usage of these platforms, there is also an increase in the number of fake profiles. While some sign up just to overcome their boredom, others are genuinely looking for love.

How do you make sure your time spent on an online platform is worthwhile?

  • A trivial yet important factor in defining your upcoming relationship is to ensure that you have emotionally moved on from your previous relationship.
  • Next, you need to identify your need for a relationship. Sign up on the platform of your choice. There may be a platform which caters to your expectations, but you are unaware of it.

For example, a platform that addresses: Finding a partner for a committed relationship; Looking for a relationship but not ready to be married; Looking for a long-distance relationship among other parameters.

  • Thoroughly read the profiles of your prospect matches and do not send an interest based on a photograph.
  • Limit your connections to few instead of several prospects.
  • Once you connect with your match, have real-time conversations about things way ahead of the getting-to-know period- this could be about living with your parents, wanting to have children or if you have children talking about them as a priority. Listen to the responses. Go with your gut. Such meaningful conversations will give you a hint if it is worth it.

Avoid doing these things once you have found a prospective partner

  • Do not ask for exclusivity immediately. Take some time and get to know each other. Although it is okay to talk to more than one person but say, you are not doing it, do not expect the same from your prospective partner.
  • Do not be in a hurry to add the prospective partner to your social media handles.
  • Use the matchmaking platform’s chat to get to know each other till you are confident to share your personal details.
  • The lockdown is bringing in a sense of loneliness but avoid the need to stay in touch always. Keep it light with sessions of practical and meaningful discussions.

Keep in mind, it can take anywhere between three to 12 months to find a match, only if you are persistent in searching and do not have a huge laundry list.

Even when the lockdown opens, these tips will work well and restore faith in online matchmaking platforms.

Can you maintain love during a lockdown? 

Let us assume you have connected with someone through a matchmaking platform, but now what? How do you maintain the relationship given physical proximity is off the table? 

Here are some things that you might want to consider:

  • Avoid stress and overthinking if your messages are not responded to immediately. Keep in mind everyone is working at home and doing the house chores too.
  • Plan a movie date where you both stream a movie at the same time.
  • Cook the same dish over a video call.
  • Plan work-out dates.
  • Lastly, enjoy your ‘me time’ and value your partner’s.

If there is one thing that the Lockdown has done, it has made us value relationships.

Finding love takes time but if you know what you want, do not have a huge list of deal-breakers and use this time to search for it, you might get surprised!

Happy searching.

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