Wisdom//

Can We STOP JUDGING People Based on Their Relationship Preferences?

Let us be open-minded in accepting all kinds of relationships instead of insisting they fit into limited definitions imposed by society.

Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash
Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash

Are you one of those people who judge others for their relationship status? If so, you may want to stop. I say this because you probably have no idea about the situation a particular individual is in, or has experienced. It’s unfortunate but true—a woman in India is said to be ‘off’ the marriage market (I do not like the term ‘market’ but that is what is used) if she is single and is entering her 30s. For men, it is more when they are 40. If you call yourself an Urban Indian, stop judging those who are single/unmarried/divorced /separated.  Each person comes with their own experience, and should only be in a committed relationship if and when they feel ready and responsible enough.

Have you given thought to why someone is single? It could be because:

  • they want to be single,
  • they have other priorities in life versus investing in a relationship,
  • their earlier relationship did not work out,
  • they are still looking, or
  • they don’t feel ready for a committed relationship.

None of the above-mentioned reasons make them a ‘lesser’ person. And we need to understand that. It is important that we accept various kinds of relationship preferences without any judgement. Some of these relationship choices are:

  • couples who do not want to have children or would rather adopt or choose to have a pet instead,
  • couples who want to continue to live with their parents,
  • couples who are comfortable with a long-distance relationship,
  • relationships where one partner prefers being a home-maker,
  • couples who live-in (Marriage ought not to be the only form of acceptable committed relationships!),
  • those in same-sex relationships,
  • partners who like the relationship to exclusive or open, and
  • couples who aren’t from the same religion.

It is important that we as a society become more inclusive and let the two people in a relationship define how they want the relationship to be.

I say this often—relationships are an extremely personal preference. Instead of a cookie-cutter approach, they should be viewed from the perspective of what the concerned individuals want. And if it works for them, who are we to comment?

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