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Are You Dating Consciously?

Leading with compassion and empathy will help you be more mindful in your relationships.

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Unsplash

Now we’ve all probably looked at ourselves and said, “Hey, I’ve got a great personality, I’m smart. How am I still single?”, right? But however true this might be, have you entertained the notion that perhaps you’re not dating “consciously”?

Dating is the first step to any relationship. It should be a time of learning and joy and carries immense value in our understanding of our partner and our compatibility with them. It is in fact during this dating phase that we might even start to develop expectations like perhaps a potential future we might see with our partner in terms of a companionship, live-in relationship, or maybe even marriage. 

Nevertheless, despite its many benefits, people often regard dating as far too time consuming or too much of a hassle. And even if they do choose to go forth with it, they see it as a means to an end, with a set goal in mind that needs to be achieved and end up instead missing out on the enjoyable fun parts it entails (for those who do it right).

But never fear. Read on to find new ways to start dating “consciously” alongside that special spark in your dating life:

  • First and foremost, self-love. Self-love is so incredibly important. It includes everything from being comfortable in your own skin, your personality, your beliefs, everything. It is essential to know your own worth as a person, and in doing so you can better work to build healthy and lasting relationships.
  • Intimacy beyond touch: Most people tend to assume that intimacy is largely dependent on only the physical aspect. However, this is not true, and true intimacy transcends only the physical nature and involves a clear true mental understanding of one another. Achieving such intimacy will really take the dating experience to another level.
  • Validation: Now it’s possible that this might be somewhat of an odd concept to grasp, but it is essential to a fulfilling relationship that you don’t go hunting for validation from each other. Yes, appreciation for one another is encouraged and healthy however constantly vying for validation from each other is not. True validation and happiness should come from oneself and this might require time and practice, but this sort of emotional independence is highly encouraged.
  • Know your worth: Patience is an integral part of relationships, yes. But it is important that you know your worth, and that you are able to see and comprehend for yourself if the relationship is progressing or regressing. If the relationship is not going in the right direction, and if perhaps you find that you and your partner’s views don’t align on important things, like for example values, goals, beliefs, etc., or even if perhaps you find yourself not happy with this person, it is always perfectly alright to walk away from that relationship. In doing so, you save both parties from unnecessary pain and time lost in a relationship that isn’t going anywhere.
  • And last but not least, understand that your partner is only human too. It would be terribly unfair to them to expect great feats and castles from your dreams from them. Having standards and expectations from your relationship is perfectly understandable but do make sure to keep them reasonable and be open to conversations with your partner about them, in which you both can work out what works best for both of you and how to proceed accordingly. 

Finally, we’d like to leave you with a rather interesting and important idea: Like mindedness tends to attract like mindedness. That is, the people whom you date and your partners, they are actually more often than not a reflection of yourself. 

Therefore, by following the above tips to dating consciously, you just might be that much closer to those you seek to meet. 

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