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Amid a failing relationship, should you look-out for a new partner?

Matters of the heart are very personal. All we can say is do your best and persevere through this vulnerable time.

Shaojie/ Unsplash
Shaojie/ Unsplash

Troubled relationships are hard. No one wants to be in one. They are agonizingly painful and energy draining. If unfortunately, you find yourself in one, is it acceptable to look for someone new while you are still in that relationship? Is it ok start a new relationship to find some comfort and possibly solace or should you wait until you have ended the current relationship? Let’s discuss a few points that may help you introspect:

  • Ask yourself the reason(s) for the failure of the current relationship. Can you do something to salvage what you have? If so, are you willing to do it? Do the good times outweigh the bad? Can couples therapy help? Is breaking up a knee jerk reaction or have you been thinking about it for a while? 
  • A break-up is a painful experience. It makes you vulnerable and overly sensitive. Depending on the intensity of the relationship and the breakup, it can even leave you bankrupt, financially and emotionally. Do you think you can handle something new in the middle of all this emotional upheaval? Do you need some time for yourself to heal or to rejuvenate? 
  • Do you have any responsibilities that you currently shoulder? Children or parents? If so, will a new relationship in the midst of this distract you from these? You may be left with no ‘me time’, would you be ok with it?
  • Have you given enough thought to what you are seeking from the prospective partner and the new relationship? 

There are no right answers here. Just be honest with yourself. It will save you much heartache later. Matters of the heart are very personal – all we can say is do your best and persevere through this vulnerable time. All the best.

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